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An enigmatic mix of the deep South & industrial North, a spiritual saint & a lustful sinner- both the LADY & the TRAMP, a liberal conservative, a devilish angel, a cuddly Koala with shark teeth. I'm a book that must be read well beyond the cover pic!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Tiffany's Mother's Day by Stacey 'SoulofaPoet' Lewis


Some of you who know me, know that help raised my nephew, therefore tis story is one that is truly from the heart.

A TIFFANY’S MOTHER DAY

“Happy Mother’s Day!” the nephew said beaming ear to ear, as he placed the light-Turquoise colored gift bag on the table.

The auntie’s eyes grew wide with surprise as she observed the highly recognizable jewelry store bag. No this boy had not gone to THE Tiffany & Co for a Mother’s Day gift!! How could he afford Tiffany’s when he still owed her $100.00 for two past months on his cell phone bill, she mused to herself. Although she had yet to ever make a purchase, she on the mailing list and knew the catalog from front to back. There was nothing in there less than the amount of his past due cell phone bill which she had already paid.
Nonetheless, there it was, the cute little bag whose brand recognition alone caused a women to smile and giggle before even seeing the contents. But that was the nephew for you, top shelf all the way. He was a full-time college student with two part-time jobs, barely had beer money, yet he had Champagne tastes. Bless his heart. He had come a long way- the nephew had.
Aunti was flooded with emotions, as her mind floated back fourteen years, to when he was nine years old. It was then that he first began permanently living with them. His mother had gone back to college in a neighboring town leaving the nephew with his grandparents. It was only natural that he’d preferred staying at the auntie’s house as she was younger and had his little cousins for him to play with like siblings. They’d jokingly referred to the nephew as ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ after the Wil Smith character, who also lived with his aunt’s family. Plus, like Uncle Phil on the t.v. show, there was no one in the world who adored the nephew more than did his uncle. From football practices, to games, to school events, there was never an event the uncle wasn’t front and center, even the many times the nephew’s own father wasn’t there.
Auntie remembered with pain the many conversations she’d had over the years with the nephew, particularly on weekends when his mother couldn’t make it to town to visit him, but had been able to make it a hundred miles further away to spend time with her then boyfriend. His father was a consistent ‘no show’ so many times, one would have thought the child would have caught on. Yet he waited at the door like an excited puppy, every time his dad promised and had been surprisingly disappointed each ‘no show’ time.

“Why don’t either of my parents make time for me like other parent’s do for their kids?” he'd often asked. “It’s not fair,” he’d cried, through so many tears it broke auntie’s heart to see him suffer.
“It doesn’t matter,” the auntie had told him, trying to console him. “There are so many kids that for whatever reason don’t have their birth parents taking care of them and they have NO ONE to stand in the gap. God blessed you though. You have us. You have grandparents. And you have lots of extended family and friends that love and support you. Stop looking at what you don’t have and focus on all the blessings that you DO have,” she’d told him.

She now snickered when she’d thought about his fifth grade year, the first time he’d been suspended from school. The principal had called her to the school because the nephew had been caught playing with a gun with some of the kids on the play ground. It turned out that the gun hadn’t been real. But the principal’s concern was that because it LOOKED real, the student’s should have been afraid of it. Explaining his rationale for the nephew’s 3-day suspension from school, the principal said he expected better from the nephew. He expected him to be one of the leaders, not a follower.

That night at the dinner table, the auntie had questioned the nephew on what he had been thinking to do something so potentially dangerous. The nephew’s excuse was that all the other boys were doing it.
“All the other boys were doing it?” the auntie had asked in disbelief. “If all your friends decided to go to hell, do you plan to go too?” she asked trying to make the child think.
“I…. I…..,” he stammered. “I just don’t want to be alone,” he answered honestly.
His candid reply scared auntie. She loved this child as much as she loved her own and she knew that his desire to fit in outweighing common sense, could be a dangerous thing. She knew she had her work with him cut out for her. She was determined to help keep her only nephew on the straight and narrow.

Over the next years, all the way through high school graduation, she had been the nephew’s constant warden /cheerleader. She’d kept steady monitoring on his friends, his grades, and his comings & goings. She knew that she undoubtedly bored the child to death with her life lessons, fables and proverbs. Often times, she’d prayed more prayers for the nephew than she’d prayed for her own children because his need was greater.

The years went by and the nephew
finished elementary school
went off to boarding high-school
graduated and then went on to college
,
all the time coming home to his very own room at auntie’s house. His parent’s showed up when they pleased. (which it seemed to please them most during spotlight times- (times when they could say, on the accolades of the child, “Yes, this is MY son.”)

But the auntie and uncle remained constant. Always there, always available for whatever was needed, whenever it was needed, however it was needed, just as if the nephew had been their own son.

“Well??? Aren’t you going to open it?” the nephew asked with excitement, tapping the Tiffany gift bag he’d set on the table.
Auntie watched with amazement as her sister ooh’ed and awe’d at the Mother’s Day gift her son had just presented to her. It was a gift the auntie was just realizing that she’d help pay for.

“Happy Mother’s Day auntie,” he’d said both off-handedly and empty-handedly to the aunt. He watched with anticipation, as his mother opened the lavish gift of a silver necklace with the word MOM engraved on a heart-shaped charm. He didn’t even have a card for his aunt.
“Can you believe my son bought me this?” the mother asked gleefully holding up the silver necklace to show the aunt.

The auntie tried forcing a smile to contain her hurt. Other than for him to be okay, she’d never wanted nor expected anything from the nephew. But to be just a mere after-thought on Mother’s Day when he had been a ‘fore-thought’ in auntie’s life, required a special kind of self-less, sainthood that auntie did not possess. This hurt. It hurt deep.
The nephew no longer needed his auntie like he had when he was younger. He no longer had the questions of WHY he wasn’t first and foremost in his parents’ lives.
For a couple of Benjamins and light-turquoise colored bag….. he could buy his way there.

© June 2011 by Stacey Lynne Lewis as SoulofaPoet. All Rights Reserved
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Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Devastated Diva


THE DEVASTATED DIVA

The devastated diva
Elegantly strolls through her space
Adorned in fierce fashion
Not a single hair out of place

You can’t see love’s war wounds
Or the hole in her heart
Or the invisible bandages
That keep her from coming apart

The devastated diva
Steps in stilettos on high
On her face is a smile
In her heart a deep sigh

Her bag is soft Italian leather
She rocks cute trinkets of gold
Appears much younger than her age
But inside… she feels old

The devastated diva
Has been lonely so long
She wants to sing about love
But forgets the words to the song

She’s been abused and neglected
Her own bad choices- she’s surmised
No longer has great expectations
And has yet to be surprised

But in the meantime she keeps it moving
Keeps working the ‘all together’ act
Rocks a Michael Kors outfit
With flawless makeup by MAC

The devastated diva
Longs for the day she’ll once again feel whole
When past pains no longer sting
And there’s a mate for her soul

In the meantime
A devastating diva
Is all the world need see
Don’t need to know that she’s devastated
Don’t need to know that she’s me

The devastated diva
Keeps stepping with grace
Cute shoes on her feet
And a smile on her face

©2010- March SLynneL as SoulOfAPoet All rights reserved.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

COULD YOU? (Question for the TinMan)


COULD YOU? (Question for the TinMan)
Could you want me
If you had no eyes
Could you hear me
If I had no voice
Could you touch me
If you had no appendages
Could you breathe me
With no lungs
Could you speak to me
With dissimilar language
Understand me
With no mind
Recall me
With no memory
Could you hold me
With no arms
Squeeze me
With no strength
Could you stroke me
With no erection
Taste me
With no tongue??????
So how can you love me
WITH NO HEART??????????????
~
~
SLynneL as SoulofaPoet aka S.O.A.P.
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~~
Some no doubt well meaning fool, sent me a message that he liked what he saw, thinks we would look good together, and flipped me his number stating that I should call him.
When the hell did how two people look together mean any damn thing???? What good are your eyes if you have no heart??? He got me thinking, and writing, therefore I suppose I appreciate his ignorance.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

THE BEAUTY OF MY SISTAHS

In honor of Black History Month, here's a tribute to all my lovely (often under-appreciated) sistahs out there. Particularly in times when no one else is doing so, Let's hold each other UP!!

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

ASUNDER


ASUNDER

Violating vows
Allowing you
To touch me
Inside the soft wetness
Of my walls
And inside the sanctity of my heart.
A touch that makes me wonder
If the pronouncement is going asunder…..

Changing my “I do”
Into a don’t
Nourishing you with the fruits of his loin
That are rightfully his and his alone.
Waves of passion and ecstasy
Drowning me under
Pulling me asunder.

The union witnessed
By dearly beloved
Betrayed by my restlessness
Shattered by lust and desire.
You growing deep inside me
And him dying
Inside my heart.
Our love swelling like thunder
Putting what He has joined together……..
Asunder.

© June 2007 SLynneLewis as SoulofaPoet All rights reserved.
MCN: CVGRF-VJDBU-G4WU2


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO STEP OUTSIDE OF ONE'S MARRIAGE IN SEARCH WHATEVER'S MISSING AT HOME? DOES IT DEPEND ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF THE RELATIONSHIP OR IS THAT NEVER AN OPTION? DO GOOD PEOPLE CHEAT OR IMMORAL ONES ONLY??

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I WANNA BE....


I Wanna Be………..
The image that glazes your eyes
The thought that induces your smile
The sun that warms your spirit
The honey that sweetens your senses
The light that guides your steps
The vibe that flows through your rhythm
The daydream that catches your concentration
The butterflies that dance in your stomach
The craving that lingers on your lips
The lust that burns fire in your loins
The temptation that beckons your wickedness
The arousal that forces you to swell
The object that you covet in secret
The obsession that catches your breath
The desire that continuously blazes in your heart
The fire that consumes your very soul
Because you are all of these and more
To me.
©2008-05 SLynneL All rights reserved MCN:C4YEH-UH4KV-XHXP7

Saturday, January 22, 2011

THE ESSENTIALS ~ A SOAP Mental Rambling




THE ESSENTIALS

I pull up to the ATM one morning to get cash before hurrying into the office. As I habitually do, I reach my hand inside and feel around the bottom of my big, designer, leather bag to find my wallet. As usual this doesn’t work, so I pick up the bag and do visual look-and-feel. But still… nothing.
“Dammit,” I curse out loud in frustration as I notice all of the bullshit items I DO have in my bag, not one of them being what I truly need. I have my cosmetic bag with enough MAC and Clinique products to provide make-up service to a brothel house. There’s enough lip gloss to wax a bowling alley lane. I have two flash drives, one SD drive, my Ipod Touch, earphones, a net-book, a cell phone (that actually does more than the net-book so it’s seriously ridiculous to have both). I have a travel-size bottle of mouthwash, some floss-piks, two packs of breath mints and three packs of gum. (I am punk at the grocery store checkout counter. It gets me every single time.) I have THREE sets of extra keys and my work ID is also in my purse. I have no clue why I persistently carry so many sets of keys. Perhaps I have a subconscious fear of being locked out? Vanity is the reason my work ID is in the purse. I should be wearing it, but I always feel it ‘doesn’t go with’ my outfits, so it too is in the bag. Since healthy nutritional supplements help keep snacking to a minimum, I have two protein bars, a fiber bar, lemonade & grape packets of Crystal Light, and a bottle of Dasani water. I have Tums for my stomach, Excedrin for my head, Chloraseptic lozenges for my throat, Airborne for immunity from other folks’ germs, and Aleeve for my back. (Yes, I am OLD, or at least there are many days I FEEL as though I am.) I have feminine products which I don’t even need at this particular time of month but as you can discern from the contents of my bag I am a woman who is deathly afraid of needing stuff and being without it.
Which is ironic because I’m currently WITHOUT the one thing every person SHOULD have when they leave the house--- a damn wallet. The wallet contains ones ESSENTIALS: identification, car & medical insurance cards, social security card, membership cards, cash, and the one thing I need most at this moment- an ATM card. These things in a wallet are things that identify us and show which networks we belong to, even in the event of some unforeseen tragedy in which we ourselves are not able to.
Yet here I am having walked out of the house with bag full of ‘things’ but left the most essential one at home.
Mental light-bulb goes off.
I think my bag this morning is a visual allusion of my life. By all outward appearances it LOOKS good. It APPEARS to have everything it needs. But my life, like my bag, is full of dozens of NICETIES, yet not enough NECESSECITIES. I have more acquaintances and very few true friends- you know the kind, who don’t judge but who will always tell you the truth no matter if it hurts, because they love you. The kind you don’t have to talk to everyday or even every week, but when you do talk they can hear you speak even from the words you DON’T SAY. I have male friends and for the sake of loneliness there are a few that know me biblically, but not one that knows me intimately. Not one to just simply hold me and love me and if one does, I don’t love him back so it’s still a negative. I eat right and work-out regularly, which are very important, but I don’t have a church home or church family for spiritual sustenance. How important can one’s body be if the soul isn’t nourished??? I have job that I love, but I need to go back to school. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do since my kids were toddlers. One is grown and the other two are darn near. It’s something that’s always been important to me but I’ve put it off far too long.
Like my purse, my life has far too many unnecessary items that occupy my time and mental & emotional space. I need to do some serious reorganization. I need to get with the essentials.
It seems that forgetting my wallet this morning wasn’t a mistake after all. I believe it was an essential alarm!!!

© Jan 2011, S.LynneL. as SoulofaPoet All rights reserved.

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